Some questions for people who are unhappy about the amount of time their spouse / partner or boyfriend / girlfriend spends online or playing video games:

How has your relationship changed since the start of the habit / addiction?

How long has this been an issue?

Have you talked to the person about it? If so what was his/her reaction?

Does the person seem motivated to cut back? What has been tried?

What advice have you received from your friends or family?



Brent

Since an accident 4 years ago, my wife became addicted to chat on the internet. I had confronted her with it and compalined of the improper relationships she had formed.
I discovered she had virtual sex, had sexual phone conversations, and more.
She was neglectful of the marriage, our 2 kids, and our home.
Then...1 month ago, she never came home from work. She hopped on a plane to India to meet an acquaintance from the net.
She came back 10 days later, wants a divorce, and within 60 seconds agreed to let me have the kids....What kind of person does this? How can she throw away 11 + years of marriage like this?
Is there anything I can do?
Despite what she has done and the fact I can no longer trust her...I still love her and don't want to lose what we had...but I want the wife I had before this addiction took her over,

My husband is a computer game addict. He has been addicted for all of our married life, with the addiction getting stronger and stronger in the last five years. (we've been married more than 15 years). I'm at the point where I am at a loss. I don't know where to go. about 8 years ago I asked counsellors for help and I was literally laughed at because they didn't believe me that it was possible to be addicted to computer gaming.

He doesn't even realize how horrible he is to live with when he's away from the computer. We went away for 3 days over Christmas and it was terrible. Then as soon as we got home and he got his 'fix' on the computer he was as happy as a lark. He blames me for everything, tells me I'm too controlling and selfish and that he doesn't have to live according to my rules.

Meanwhile he's only worked about 3 weeks of 2008, he doesn't come to bed until I get out of bed in the morning because 'he lost track of time...again'. It is 3:30pm now and he is still sleeping because he was up playing games all night until 8:30 this morning. We have four kids and they all see his poor choices. But things are getting worse.

It's been suggested that I attend a co-anon group or al-anon group, but our finances are tight and I'm afraid of the fall-out.

Are there any suggestions on how to obtain support? Ideas for taking care of myself, saving our marriage, etc?